


Give Steven a Break, He Needs It

by Athenaash



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon), Steven Universe - Fandom
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Garnet has mom vibes, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Not Canon Compliant, Panic Attacks, Post-Steven Universe: The Movie, Self-Esteem Issues, Steven Universe Future, Stimming, Swearing, imposter syndrome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:02:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28902336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Athenaash/pseuds/Athenaash
Summary: “Steven…” When his eyes darted up to make eye contact with her, only to dart away again, Garnet seemed to be arguing with herself, before shaking her head and sitting on the ground across from the teen. “Let’s breathe together, ok? Just breathe with me,”
Relationships: Garnet & Steven Universe, No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 36





	Give Steven a Break, He Needs It

**Author's Note:**

> TWs: graphic panic attacks, self loathing, imposter syndrome stuff at the beginning, some self injury stuff
> 
> Woot!! Finally finished 1/4 of the commissions I got! This one if for Allen (@son_shiney on instagram, go check out his art!), one of my best friends. ily dude /gen

He couldn’t breathe. Steven couldn’t fucking breathe and everything was too loud- or too bright- or just too  _ much _ . He could feel his skin changing color and he  _ couldn’t stop it _ . Everything was wrong and he just- Steven couldn’t deal anymore, he clapped his hands over his ears and tried to hold back the squeals that forced their way out of his mouth with every inhale of breath.

Steven’s shoulders shook with barely concealed sobs, his hands going to pull at the locks of hair on his head. His fingers tangled in his roots, and pulled hard enough for pain to blossom on his scalp. 

Without knowing how he got like this, Steven was in the forest outside of Little Homeworld, allowing himself a moment of weakness that shouldn’t be allowed. He couldn’t be pathetic like this; Steven had  _ responsibilities _ . Responsibilities to L.H and to his family. To the Diamonds, and the entire race of gems.

But he couldn’t fucking do it. Steven tricked so many people into thinking he was strong, and he was brave, that he could even  _ handle _ the pressure put on him. That he’d crack under the slightest hint of stress. 

Steven was pathetic, and he was the only one who knew it. He lied and faked his way into everyone’s hearts, made them  _ trust _ him, and it was all catching up to him. They’d all find out now. That everything was a lie. Maybe they’d get rid of him when they figured it out. Or kill him. Steven wouldn’t fight back. He knew he deserved it.

When a throat cleared behind him, Steven froze, readying his shield for summoning. But Garnet’s level voice broke through his thoughts, “Steven…” When his eyes darted up to make eye contact with her, only to dart away again, Garnet seemed to be arguing with herself, before shaking her head and sitting on the ground across from the teen. “Let’s breathe together, ok? Just breathe with me,”

Steven let out a loud keen, and clapped his hands over his ears. He couldn’t breathe and now Garnet would  _ know _ . She would  _ know _ and she’d never like him again. He was so stupid, Steven should’ve gone further away this time goddamnit. Garnet’s voice is still talking in that  _ stupid patronizing voice _ ; like she isn’t watching him break down in front of her.

It took longer than Steven wanted to admit for his breathing to level out, but it did, eventually. Garnet’s soft voice leading him through a square breathing exercise his therapist taught all of them. Something he’s tried his hardest to avoid making the gems use on him.

But here he was. Shoulders shaking with sobs loud enough to echo through the forest. Loud enough for  _ someone _ to notice. He really was useless huh? He couldn’t even have a panic attack in private successfully. Untangling his fingers from his hair, Steven brought his hands into his lap, a ghost of a butterfly landing on his palm.

Why did this- god this always happened. No matter how hard he tried, or how long he kept at it; Steven would always be this fucked up. He’d always land right back here. Freaking out with a stupid fucking butterfly letting him know how  _ wrong _ he was. 

A sinking pit laid in his stomach, something that was all too familiar to him when Garnent cleared her throat again.  _ Fuck _ . She was still here and she was  _ looking _ at him behind those stupid fucking glasses she had. Acting like she was  _ better _ than him with that soft fucking smile on her face. 

Did Garnet  _ like _ seeing him like this? Panicked and half out of his- “Steven?” Her voice was like an ice cube on his searing red thoughts, “What do you need from me?” And just like that his anger slipped away from him. She just… sounded so genuinely worried about him. Like her normally cool voice was sanded around at the edges.

“I-I-I-” Steven couldn’t even get one word out before he loses it again, Garnet scooting over to rub his back. As soon as he could, his hands fisted her shirt, and he buried his head in her shoulder, “It-”

“You don’t need to explain yourself to me, Steven,” Garnet laid her head on Steven’s, “I… understand,” Steven grit his teeth, preparing for a lecture from her, or a long winded story that proved he really was the weakest gem. But nothing came. It was nice. Listening to Garnet hum a song he couldn’t place, with Steven curled into her, like when he was a kid. 

They laid there for a bit, Steven’s eyes half-lidded, with Garnet’s soft voice singing out words he couldn’t quite hear. He couldn’t really find himself to care what she was saying, just focusing on her hands carting through his hair, and the utter exhaustion that settled deep in his bones. 

It wasn’t unusual, the heavy weight that settled on his chest or the buzzing that entered his ears after a panic attack. His therapist said it was normal, that after a quick rise of adrenaline it was only natural a crash would come hard and fast. 

Steven tried to ignore the feelings festering in his chest like an infected wound, in favor of letting his eyes droop. Garnet mussed up his hair, and chuckled a little, “Before you sleep Cutie-Pie, we should warp to the temple,”

He let out a long, annoyed groan, which elicited a laugh out of Garnet, before climbing to his feet. Steven pushed away the hand trying to help him stand up, “I can walk by myself, jus’ tired,”

“Alright,” Garnet adjusted her glasses, and smiled wistfully at Steven, “I’m sorry I couldn’t prevent this,”

He tried to find the words to reassure her, but couldn’t, so Steven just shrugged, “They happen ‘n shit, thanks for helping out anyway,” And he meant it. Most of the time the teen just ended up wearing himself out, and waking up the next day with a headache and a worried Connie. “They suck, but I deal,”

Garnet just nodded, “Well, I’m proud of you either way,” And if Steven spilt a fresh set of tears with that one, well. Then no one needed to know.

**Author's Note:**

> Shhhh... the timeline makes sense if you squint.... /lh


End file.
